Okay so that was a totally new experience for me and not one that I really want to experience again. Emotional breakdowns are not fun I do not endorse them in anyway. I think that after I am done this semester I need to see a shrink and make sure that I am still sane cause I am pretty sure that this semester is making me crazy. I have spent almost the whole day today research psychoanalysis so that I can do a psychoanalytical interpretation of two of the short stories we have studied this semester, my head is spinning. I have nopw done my research and can start writing the paper. I am supposed to have it done for tomorrow, think I can do it?
Well I got to get to paper writing God bless and have a good day.
Sunday, March 30, 2008
Thursday, March 27, 2008
help
I am pretty sure that I am having an emotional breakdown, possibly a mental one too. How am I supposed to finish the semester? I just want to crawl into a hole and not be seen or heard from for a very long time.
Sick and Tired
I am so sick and all I want to do is sleep however, I can't since I have so much work to do. Oh well I will get through as per usual. It is times like this when I really wish that I lived closer to my parents so I could be taken care of and be babied (only when I am sick do I feel like this).
Other than being sick I am stressed out of my mind since papers are now overdue and I am really struggling with writing them since the topics are not all that interesting and I just need a break from school. This weekend was a total bust and I should not have gone to the coast since I got nothing done. But unfortunately I can not rewrite the past. The one good thing that came from the weekend was that I had a meeting with Justin, the organizer of the discipleship program, and learned more about the program. However, it was not super helpful since they are stilll working out almost all the details that affect my decision the most. I will not know the details until late April or early May which is when I wanted to have everything sorted out. So I am not sure what to do and that is added more stress to my life (like I need more). Well I should stop procrastinating now and get back to writing papers.
Take care and God bless.
Other than being sick I am stressed out of my mind since papers are now overdue and I am really struggling with writing them since the topics are not all that interesting and I just need a break from school. This weekend was a total bust and I should not have gone to the coast since I got nothing done. But unfortunately I can not rewrite the past. The one good thing that came from the weekend was that I had a meeting with Justin, the organizer of the discipleship program, and learned more about the program. However, it was not super helpful since they are stilll working out almost all the details that affect my decision the most. I will not know the details until late April or early May which is when I wanted to have everything sorted out. So I am not sure what to do and that is added more stress to my life (like I need more). Well I should stop procrastinating now and get back to writing papers.
Take care and God bless.
Sunday, March 23, 2008
Unfullfilling Easter
So this weekend has not turned out as I thought that it would at all. First I am having trouble consentrating on writing papers since I just want to sleep and take a break. Then to make matters more complicated my dad had a gout attack so they did not go to Nanimo on Saturday instead they stayed around the house making it even more difficult for me to consentrate on papers. So needless to say it is Sunday afternoon and I have three papers due on Wednesday that are no where near being completed which means little sleep when I get back to Kamloops.
Also my parents have not really been that helpful whatsoever with my decision as to what to do next year. For mom it is all about the money and she thinks that I should take 3 courses no matter where I am so that I can get student loans, which I can see her argument but I do not want more debt if I can avoid it. Also I do not want to get stuck in a rut of making decisions based on finaces. I think that this will lead to many regrets in the future.
One benefit of coming down here though is that I am meeting with Justin tomorrow to find out more information about the discipleship program next year. Hopefully, this will help with the decision or at least make it so I can make a more informed decison.
I was hoping to get more school work done this weekend however I do not think that will happen since my sister and nephew were here when I got back from church and the rest of the family and a number of friends will be arriving anytime for dinner. Then tomorrow I will go to work with my dad so that I can talk to Justin, which I am not sure how long that will take. Then Brian is picking me up at my parents around 1:30 to head back to Kamloops. Oh well at least once I get back to Kamloops I can do what I want when I want with very little disturbances.
Well I should go and see what else needs to be done before company arrives. Talk to you all later.
Also my parents have not really been that helpful whatsoever with my decision as to what to do next year. For mom it is all about the money and she thinks that I should take 3 courses no matter where I am so that I can get student loans, which I can see her argument but I do not want more debt if I can avoid it. Also I do not want to get stuck in a rut of making decisions based on finaces. I think that this will lead to many regrets in the future.
One benefit of coming down here though is that I am meeting with Justin tomorrow to find out more information about the discipleship program next year. Hopefully, this will help with the decision or at least make it so I can make a more informed decison.
I was hoping to get more school work done this weekend however I do not think that will happen since my sister and nephew were here when I got back from church and the rest of the family and a number of friends will be arriving anytime for dinner. Then tomorrow I will go to work with my dad so that I can talk to Justin, which I am not sure how long that will take. Then Brian is picking me up at my parents around 1:30 to head back to Kamloops. Oh well at least once I get back to Kamloops I can do what I want when I want with very little disturbances.
Well I should go and see what else needs to be done before company arrives. Talk to you all later.
Wednesday, March 19, 2008
Easter plans
So I have decided that I am going to my parents for the long weekend even though I have finished papers, I need a break. Also I want to talk to my parents about next year and get their opinion and comments on what I should do. Also I think that they will be the less selfish of everyone with their opinons since my friends seem to think that I should go/stay where it benefits them the most. Love you guys anyway.
Now that I know that I am leaving tomorrow afternoon for the coast I am having trouble concentrating and just want to go now, but I have to get lots accomplished tomorrow. Sigh.
I am also getting super excited for Japan and that is making it incredibly difficult to consentrate on what I have to get done now. To make matters worse my friend gave me a large wall map of Japan and a phrase book for trip prepartation and the trip itself. So now I just want to look at them, however, I have packed them at the bottom of my bag for the weekend so they will not distract me (hopefully).
While in Japan we are spending two nights at a hot spring which will be awsome the only problem is that is nude only to go in the springs (since this is the Japanese version of a bath). It is divided into male and female so that is not a concern. However, I still do not know if I am comfortable with this idea. What do you think, would you go in the hot springs? I might just get there and be like ahh well I only live once so I'm doing it. We will have to see, the shy modest one might become a nudist - hey it is not that far fetched (okay maybe it is).
Well this Johnny Cash Junkie and Buck Owen freak needs to go finish packing and get to bed since 5am comes very early.
Love you all and God Bless.
Now that I know that I am leaving tomorrow afternoon for the coast I am having trouble concentrating and just want to go now, but I have to get lots accomplished tomorrow. Sigh.
I am also getting super excited for Japan and that is making it incredibly difficult to consentrate on what I have to get done now. To make matters worse my friend gave me a large wall map of Japan and a phrase book for trip prepartation and the trip itself. So now I just want to look at them, however, I have packed them at the bottom of my bag for the weekend so they will not distract me (hopefully).
While in Japan we are spending two nights at a hot spring which will be awsome the only problem is that is nude only to go in the springs (since this is the Japanese version of a bath). It is divided into male and female so that is not a concern. However, I still do not know if I am comfortable with this idea. What do you think, would you go in the hot springs? I might just get there and be like ahh well I only live once so I'm doing it. We will have to see, the shy modest one might become a nudist - hey it is not that far fetched (okay maybe it is).
Well this Johnny Cash Junkie and Buck Owen freak needs to go finish packing and get to bed since 5am comes very early.
Love you all and God Bless.
Monday, March 17, 2008
just wasting time
Wow, what is going on? two post in as many days. haha :)
So in reality I am posting because I am sick of writing papers and this is the most convient way to waste time right now. I have class in an hour and am basically done the paper that I am working on and do not want to start the next one just to leave it again almost as soon as I start. Also I am trying to decide which paper to work on next, Waste Disposal in Japan, Toponynmy in the Canadian Arctic, or The movement away from Christian Symbolism to Esoteric and personal beliefs as displayed in Early Modern British Poetry. None of which sound very appealing to me at this point in time.
So I am feeling as though I have been run over by a semi's multiple tires and just want to crawl into a hole and forget about the world for a while. It is times like this when I hate being an adult and having to take care of myself. But I think that I have decided that I am going to the coast for Easter whether I am finished my papers or not. I think that I need the break and can use a change of scenery. Also my parents are going away for the whole day Saturday so the house will be quiet and I can write papers then as long as my sister and mother do not decide that I should go to Vern's for the day so I have company - I do not want company I want quiet and a nice hot bath.
Well that is all for now.
So in reality I am posting because I am sick of writing papers and this is the most convient way to waste time right now. I have class in an hour and am basically done the paper that I am working on and do not want to start the next one just to leave it again almost as soon as I start. Also I am trying to decide which paper to work on next, Waste Disposal in Japan, Toponynmy in the Canadian Arctic, or The movement away from Christian Symbolism to Esoteric and personal beliefs as displayed in Early Modern British Poetry. None of which sound very appealing to me at this point in time.
So I am feeling as though I have been run over by a semi's multiple tires and just want to crawl into a hole and forget about the world for a while. It is times like this when I hate being an adult and having to take care of myself. But I think that I have decided that I am going to the coast for Easter whether I am finished my papers or not. I think that I need the break and can use a change of scenery. Also my parents are going away for the whole day Saturday so the house will be quiet and I can write papers then as long as my sister and mother do not decide that I should go to Vern's for the day so I have company - I do not want company I want quiet and a nice hot bath.
Well that is all for now.
Saturday, March 15, 2008
update on life
Wow it has been forever since I have posted :). Life has been good so busy with school and work though. Right now I am in the midst of writing 4 papers (shortest of which is 1500 words) all due the week after Easter, in order to go to the coast for Easter and see my family I have to have all 4 rough drafts done. Keeping my fingers crossed.
Other than that I am wrestling with a major decision right now. After this semester I have two english courses left to recieve my BA. I have four options as to what I will do in the fall, but I have to figure it out asap since it will influence this summer. First option, remain in Kamloops and do the courses I need on campus and work here full time. Second option, move back to Maple Ridge and participate in a discipleship training program thru CLA and complete the courses that I need through Open Learning then transfer them to TRU to graduate. Option three, very much the same as option two but I would take the courses through Kwantlan or UCFV and then transfer them, with this option I do not know if I would be able to do the discipleship program it would depend on timing. With both option 2 and 3 I would also be working part-time in the Maple Ridge area. The fourth option that I have is to move elsewhere and work full time and take the courses through Open Learning. To make this decision I need to resolve many unknowns. Feedback and prayer as to what you think I should do would be appreciated.
Not much is happening in my life right now; just classes, work, homework, church, and occasionally sleeping. I am also in the midst of planning my trip to Japan in May, I have about 6 days where I am on my own and need to determine what I am going to do. I want to head south to Kyushu and see Mount Aso but other than that I am not sure what I am going to do. As the time gets closer I will post a detailed itenerary of where I will be for the three weeks that I am there and will try to post updates from Japan and let you know how everything is going.
Well I had best get back to those essays, what fun.
Other than that I am wrestling with a major decision right now. After this semester I have two english courses left to recieve my BA. I have four options as to what I will do in the fall, but I have to figure it out asap since it will influence this summer. First option, remain in Kamloops and do the courses I need on campus and work here full time. Second option, move back to Maple Ridge and participate in a discipleship training program thru CLA and complete the courses that I need through Open Learning then transfer them to TRU to graduate. Option three, very much the same as option two but I would take the courses through Kwantlan or UCFV and then transfer them, with this option I do not know if I would be able to do the discipleship program it would depend on timing. With both option 2 and 3 I would also be working part-time in the Maple Ridge area. The fourth option that I have is to move elsewhere and work full time and take the courses through Open Learning. To make this decision I need to resolve many unknowns. Feedback and prayer as to what you think I should do would be appreciated.
Not much is happening in my life right now; just classes, work, homework, church, and occasionally sleeping. I am also in the midst of planning my trip to Japan in May, I have about 6 days where I am on my own and need to determine what I am going to do. I want to head south to Kyushu and see Mount Aso but other than that I am not sure what I am going to do. As the time gets closer I will post a detailed itenerary of where I will be for the three weeks that I am there and will try to post updates from Japan and let you know how everything is going.
Well I had best get back to those essays, what fun.
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